Woosh, the time flew by crazy fast. I'll give an outlined play by play, but first it has to be said.. YES they do talk like that "Yah mon, no worries mon, no problem mon", and yes every single person and their relative tries to sell you pot (or blow).
Day 1, taking off from Atlanta to Jamaica, they stopped the plane and said.. "Our left engine won't start, so we're going to have maintenance look at it and we'll be on our way in 30 minutes". Holy cow. I am terrified of flying anyway, but when I hear something like that my mind was going "PLEASE give us a new plane, PLEASE PLEASE". So I took a Dremamine since I now get nauseated on planes too (sigh).. and luckily those things knock me out like sleeping pills! We arrived in sunny Jamaica. We take a shuttle to the resort, and we met a couple our age there.. they were on their honeymoon.. and ironically they live about 30 minutes from us. We were having a good time on the 1.5 hour journey from airport to the resort. The driver had alcohol in his hand the whole way (I guess it's legal there), they had Bob Marley blaring on the radio.. and he was driving so erratic I was hyperventalating. We're on these twisty turny 2-lane roads, FLYING.. and they pass cars going up a hill, where you can't see oncoming traffic. And not just 1 car, but 3-5. I had to quit watching.
Our concierge service (something we paid more for) wasn't there when we got there, so we piggy-backed with someone else's concierge service. Our guy NEVER met us while we were there, so I would never pay for that service again. Lucky for us, the honeymooning couple we met.. they had a BUTLER service, which they give you a cell phone to call him directly. They also had the awesome rooms- something towards 10k a week to stay in these room. We were HUNGRY and tired first day, so we ordered (free) 24-hour room service. I wasn't adventurous for Jamaicain food when we first got there, so I ordered a cheeseburger & fries. Can't go wrong there, right? Wrong! It was very weird tasting, I think they don't use sugar or salt on stuff.. then the condiments.. oy.. the mayo was curdled (all week long), and the ketchup was a dark brown bitter gunk.. not edible. Now I do complain about food, cause as a fat girl I like my food. We ended up going to bed immediately to just rest up for the rest of the week.
Day 2 (Sunday), we were looking for a lazy river, and ran into the honeymooners! That was cool, so they joined us and we went to the swim up bar.. a bar IN THE WATER.. I will post pics of this when I upload them.. awesome times there. We got hammered.. all of us.. and I have some bruises on my legs where Russell tried to carry me in the water, then accidentally run me into bar stools.. Then the bartenders kept trying to sell us dope. The honeymooners also watched "Locked Up Abroad"-- a show I love, you should watch it if you can. Real accounts of people who did illegal drug stuff in foreign countries, then get locked up for 5-25 years, etc. It's scary!! So we kept telling the bartenders no, and one busts out a joint and lays it on there going "yah mon, no worries mon".. blah blah..
Then there's a daily thunderstorm.. around 2pm.. for an hour-3 hours it storms horribly. So we got out of the pool, and just getting smashed at the bar.. and we meet 3 other couples: they came together from California to celebrate 10 year anniversary, 1 year anniversary (like us), and 30th birthday. They were a lot of fun, very hammered too. Russell got so drunk, he couldn't maintain himself. He was falling all over the place, so we retired. Our honeymoon friends had RSVP at a fancy restaurant that night, and we couldn't get our concierge to help us get in, so they called their Butler who made it RSVP for 4!! So we went back to our room, Russell passed out (naked!) I took funny pics of that too... but I'll spare you. Then I got dressed, woke Russell up for the RSVP dinner, and he starts vomiting his brains out. By time we were SUPPOSE to meet the other couple, Russell was still naked and rolling on the floor in the bathroom. We finally get down there-- and they aren't there! I figured they either avoiding us, or they're passed out too. I knocked on their door, no answer.. so we took the reservations by ourself (oh well). That food was wonderful, it was a hibachi and they give you a little of everything.. so I tried bbq mahi mahi and wow it was good. The shrimp was awesome too (I am super picky with seafood). I give it A+++. I tried getting RSVP there again through our concierge and they kept blowing us off. Figures.
Anyway, we get to dessert, and the guy from the other couple showed up.. and said they were passed out, his wife still was. We retired early that night too.
Next morning-Day 3 (Monday) we went snorkling. AWESOME!!!!! I will post pics of that as well. I held a sea urchin, and it dug into my hand, I started to panic but I got a pic out of it. And amazingly enough I don't look like a whale in the water! I was so impressed by that, I forked out $80 for 4 friggin pictures from the resort. Then we ran into all those couples.. they invited us to join them for party night at some bar on the beach later.. we took a nap (I was so tired through this whole trip).. went out to meet up with them.. More drinking, and Jamaica is so proud of their Rum--I don't care if I never drink Rum again. I would order drinks specifically that DON'T have rum, and they would use rum instead of whatever alcohol you're suppose to use. Ends up 2 (at least) of the 3 couples that came from Cali are swingers.. ahem. They hit on me, and the honeymooners at some point that night.. made it very akward.. We did toasts in a hot tub into the late hours once the bar closed, the hot tub was secluded.. and one of the women took her top off and was telling us we should too, etc.. and finally Russell & I, and the honeymooners acted like we were hella tired.. and went to bed.. whew. Since then, we avoided hanging out with the group.. they were really pushy and weird about it. No wasn't a good answer.
We also did a dinner entertainment thing, an open air stage where they did contests and fun stuff.. fire breather, guy who balanced a ladder & beach lounge chair on his nose!! I got pics, and video of that.. then we did musical legs, us girls spread our legs, while guys walked around, had to dive between a pair of legs when music stopped. Russell got out, when there was only like 4 of us women left.. and the rule is, you pick a girl to go with you--not your partner;cause you want her to win.. but MY husband picked ME to go with him. He said he didn't realize that was the rule, gah.. men!!!
Day 4 (Tuesday) we had plans to go to Rick's Cafe which is suppose to be one of the top 10 bars in the world, they have cliff diving and stuff.. but we decided to take a break from the couples hanging out. We walked around the resort taking pictures.. they had dead palm trees, they carved into Bob Marley pictures (I'll post pics of that too!). We also went to the Spa and did a couple's massage thing-- Scrub a Dub 2-In a Tub.. hour long massage each, room was only lit by candles, guy did my massage, woman did his.. It was wonderful, never had a professional massage before, but I loved it. Then they scrubbed us down with oils & sugar granules.. made us softer than a baby's bottom! Last, they walk us to this bath tub in the corner filled with soap, and helped us in.. Russell first, then me.. with champagne.. Was a little weird, especially when (with both of them standing there and we're naked) he goes "Get between your husband's legs".. I was like uh.. ok.. wee. And we get 20m in there, we got out eventually and the guy said we got out before our time was out, and Russell said something about "We finished quick!".. Hah.. the whole time in the tub we were laughing about how weird that was. We bought souvenirs from the gift shop, I got some cool stuff to put in my china hutch! We came back to the room, and they gave us 2 more free bottles of...RUM. UGH!! I brought them back, gave one to my dad (who likes Rum Punch) and I put one bottle in my China cabinet since it says Special Jamaica Rum blah blah. Then we went back to the room and just hung out in bed the rest of the evening. Room service and TV.. they got satellite TV from.. Miami, FL and--CANADA.. how weird is that? So we watched a lot of TBS, Friends, Everybody Love Raymond, Family Guy, etc.. so nice to just kick back and relax. Packed up.. and bright and early the next morning we dropped off our luggage for concierge, and took a shuttle back to the airport. The airport & customs was a nightmare, I could go on for days-- it put me in such a bad mood for the rest of yesterday. It was also Jamaica's independence day yesterday so there was a lot of commotion on the island.
Our plane BACK to Atlanta, going down the runway about to take off, the plane SHUTS DOWN.. and they said "We lost auxillary power, we're going to turn it back on and get going". Deja vu, I started to panic again, thinking.. dear God if it powered off unexpectedly, what makes it not do that again?!!? Luckily, I did make it back alive. As soon as we landed in Atlanta we went straight to a Southern restaurant for some good eats. I had fried chicken, mashed taters, candied yams, and mac & cheese.. sounds real healthy huh? I only ate a bite of everything though, if I didn't have my band I'd have been eating all day yesterday when we landed!!
And now today.. back to work.. I'm wearing my tie-dye shirt with a smiley face that has dreds and it says "Smile Mon". hehe.
We had a company meeting, and I'm slowly catching up with work. Going to take my last final tonight and Russell is going to pick up our dog from his parents.
So glad to be home, and for the money-- I don't plan on going back.. but it was fun!!
The rooms were really run down, and leaked everytime it rained so the whole place smelled like mildew.. and they were at best-like Motel 6 rooms.. And for the $$ I could have been in a nice pent suite in Vegas..
I guess the world takes a lot of people, and now I know.. I'm not a Jamaica kinda girl. It was nice to see, but that was good enough for me in one lifetime!
Last but not least, I got on the scale last night. 218lb is officially. Hells yah.
