Funny Stuff

I read Fark.com, for my news. My favorite part, is that readers submit their own headlines to the article. Today is a really funny day some reason, so I thought I'd post those headlines and make my own comments.
And now here's the lap-band part.. today I made an effort to eat at least 200c for breakfast, since my friend told me I should to jump start my metabolism. That's hard for me, but I had a kudos bar and 1 packet of fruit & cream oatmeal. For lunch I had 3 bites of guacamole salad (man it was good, wish I could have had more). I put lemon juice on it and got it to-go, but we'll see how it holds up.. if it doesn't turn disgusting by dinner, that's what I'll have.
Without further ado, laugh some!

Amsterdam gays can now legally enjoy public sex in the city's biggest park, but they'd better not let their dog off its leash. Nothing I can say will compare to the funniness already there.

Woman threatens to kill herself. Friend says he's calling her bluff and gives her his gun. Oops. Jury convicts him of killing her. Actually, glad I read this. I've had pity-party friends who say things like that, and at some point I did the same thing.. "Well, do it already". I'm a good friend, really..

Town denies "adult entertainment" license because bar is too close to cemetery. After all, who wants to work around a bunch of stiffs? Just, hehe.

Church treasurer steals $1M in mission money to buy classic cars. Church members said they always thought it was strange how it always took $2 for them to feed a hungry child when everyone else did it for $1. Ugh.

Good: Single goes out to make a living. Bad: By selling cocaine. Good: She left the kids with a friend. Bad: She left the plate she cut the cocaine out and the kids went all Tyrone the crackhead on her. People like this need to have their tubes tied.


Southwest would like you to know they've repaired four of their airplanes on which maintenance had been an afterthought. And they only had big cracks in them, so there's really nothing to worry about with all the others. Fly Southwest. Eeek, I currently have a flight booked with them for May.

Police officer acquitted on child pornography charges, because he accidentally paid the $35 access fee to the site he accidentally went to, where he accidentally downloaded 8,742 images from the site, by accident. How sad.. I think people like this should have their nonos run through a meat grinder.


Oh, and is it odd that my husband doesn't know about my blog? I have kept diaries/journals since I was a kid, I have a drawer in our spare bedroom full of them. I have pointed them out to him and said.. if I die for whatever reason, there they are to read. But, otherwise they're off limits! Just because he forgets about it, I know he never looks at them. But if I do die, he gets to read about my first kiss, my 'first time', silly things I bought when I was 8 years old (yeah, I wrote about that), movies I saw, etc. I actually turn red when I read them myself, so I don't touch them either. In fact, I don't re-read this either because my brain always switches gears by time I finish writing. Maybe that's why I like to write. Mwhahaha. Anyway.